Chicago Moms Blog

It's MY Laptop!

It's been a while since I've posted.  It's not that I have writer's block or a lack of material.  I have to come clean: My 17 month-old son is addicted to my laptop. 

It all started with iTunes and our computer-based music library.  We made a special play list with all his favorites and encouraged him to dance with us.  Then it was Starfall.  My speech therapist sister recommended it as my son's language blossomed. It was a weekend treat we used to combat the early mornings.  As his special affection for music (especially Dean Martin) intensified, we introduced him to some You Tube videos featuring his favorite tunes.  Then we found Muppets and Elmo and Ernie.

Is Being a Coupon Mom Worthwhile?

We "coupon moms" have gotten a lot of attention in the past 18 months as the financial crisis put saving money to the fore of nearly every American's minds. The Coupon Mom, Stephanie Nelson, recently published a book, and her media tour has resulted in more attention to the whole trend of aggressive bargain hunting at the grocery store. 

Seeing the crazy coupon ladies go through a store on TV and pay only a few bucks for a full cart of groceries, the average shopper can't help but wonder if maybe they should get into this bargain-hunting thing too. But is it worth the time invested?

A friend and reader of my Frugalista blog recently asked me how much money I save for each hour clipping coupons, looking up deals and hitting stores. I was ashamed to say that after two years of aggressive bargain shopping on a weekly budget of $80 (for two adults and three littles), I didn't know how much time I was spending or how much I was saving. So last week I finally started keeping track.

So far, it looks like I save $20 for every extra hour I spend couponing and shopping beyond the national average. The average mother spends 1 hour per week grocery shopping; I spent six hours preparing and shopping last week. That counts the time it takes to get two or three little ones into snowsuits and to the store, often on foot with one walking and one in the stroller.

The Sandwich Generation vs. Semantics

Last week, I officially joined the Sandwich Generation, a growing group of adults who find themselves caring both for their dependent children and their aging parents. For my husband and me, it happened rather suddenly when my mother-in-law's planned two-day hospital stay for sciatica surgery turned into five days in the hospital, an indeterminate time at a rehabilitation center and the need to go home with at least a part-time caregiver. Can you say "unprepared"? Because that's what we were — totally unprepared.

We shouldn't have been, because the woman is 80 years old. Granted, she is in generally great health and has always been fit, but 80 is 80. When someone cuts into your spine when you're 80 years old, you tend not to bounce back as quickly as you used to, a fact we all should have considered before the surgery. Our bad, as my sons say.

Help! I Have to Potty Train a Boy!

I am the mother of three kids.  This means that, at least by a couple people, I am considered something of an expert in the realm of parenting.  I don't know if having a lot of kids makes me any more qualified to give advice than a parent of one child, but I am happy to admit that I have learned a few things in my seven years of parenting, that I am happy to pass on to others.

This is certainly the way I have felt about potty training.  Since my two oldest, who happen to be girls, were mostly potty trained in about a day, I have (as humbly as possible) offered my best tips and advice to others who are entering potty training as uncharted territory.  I think having a laid back attitude toward the process and letting the girls help determine their own readiness were large factors in my success rate.

But I can feel my confidence about to go down the toilet (so to speak).  I myself am now entering uncharted territory.  I have learned that potty training a boy is completely different from potty training a girl.  I admit:  I am clueless.  I need help.

Welcome to the Neo Medieval Era

It really challenges your understanding of economics as practiced in the 21st century when you have to explain it to your kids on the drive to school. We have about a 15 minute commute, and so you have to get it all out, soup to nuts, supply and demand, in a sound bite sized lecture suitable for the 9 year old to 16 year old demographic. See, I was trying to explain what a Jobless Recovery was--although in all honesty I think my son was asking the question to merely figure out when our family finances would return to the good ol' days.  Like when we could afford things. 

Anyway, after last week's debacle of trying to explain why corporations are now people too with constitutional rights, this week's task of trying to explain the little pickle about how the economy is getting better but dad still can't find work and mom might lose hers seemed like just another Gordian Knot for me to get out of.

My Marriage, My Cousin's Marriage--No Difference

I met my husband at Northern Illinois University back in 1984.  We went out to dinner one night with a group and sat across from each other.  We struck up a conversation and discovered that we both had a love of skiing. That conversation sparked many more and we often sat up until the wee hours of morning, discussing everything under the sun.  Four years later, on November 4, 1989, we were married, surrounded by our family and friends.

Edward Pazier and Dennis Bales first noticed each other on an "L" train going downtown 1992 while heading to their corporate jobs. Their first date was a lunchtime picnic in the gardens of the Chicago Art Institute museum and they discovered that they had a lot in common, from speaking Spanish, to their corporate jobs in the global world and a love of travel.  On January 23, 2001, they flew to Vermont to get married in an outdoor gazebo at the base of a snowy mountain and threw a large reception surrounded by family and friends that summer.

Edward is my cousin. He and Dennis have a marriage similar to ours-- they argue about little stuff and then make up, they enjoy eating out and do pretty much everything together.  But here's what's not fair:  should either of our spouses pass away, our rights are very different.  In my marriage, all assets would pass on to the spouse by law, including retirement benefits. In their marriage, the spouse would lose access to retirement benefits as their marriage is not recognized by Illinois law.

Their marriage is no different from mine-- is that fair?

I need a vacation from technology

Last week, my little family had the opportunity to escape cold and dreary Chicago for warm and sunny Florida. In preparation for winter getaway, I packed up our swim suits, shorts and flip flops. I gathered up the necessary toiletries and threw in a few books and toys for my kids.

And then I packed the following dizzying array of technical devices:

My Macbook Pro (with power cord obviously)
My iPhone (with charger)
An iPod
A portable DVD player for the kiddos on the plane (unfortunately I forget the headphones so that was a bust)
My Canon EOS complete with 28-135 mm lense (and of course an extra battery and a USB cord in the event that I wanted to upload any photos to aformentioned Macbook Pro)
A Flipcam
My brand new Kindle that I got for Christmas (again with the charging cord)

When the Best of the Best Asks for the Most of the Most

Next Tuesday I will walk into my local polling place and vote in the primaries.  In doing so, I will help decide who gets to run for office in November.  I will also vote on a district referendum that will have an immediate effect on my community.  The New Trier Facilities referendum is a capitol bond referendum, which if passed, will fund significant renovation to New Trier High School's Winnetka Campus.

New Trier is an exceptional high school, known for its extensive academic, athletic and extracurricular programs.  The school spends $15,000 per student per year, twice the Chicago public school average of approximately $7,325.  An estimated 95% of 2009 graduates were headed to college, and according to an article by the University of Michigan Department of Psychology, "New Trier students outperform their Illinois classmates on every conceivable measure."  The school has received a rare ten out of ten from greatschools.org.

In contrast to its outstanding academic reputation, however, parts of the campus itself are in chronic, dangerous disrepair.  The New Trier referendum asks tax payers to fund the school board approved Winnetka Campus Facilities Renovation project with a Build American Bond.  The project calls for the demolition of five of the oldest, most decrepit buildings, and for the construction of new facilities.

An "Oh-My-Gosh" Day

My daughter stood in front of the pantry, the doors flung wide open and I watched as her gaze went from the top shelf down to the floor.  The jumble of food inside was barely recognizable.  A bag of chips was crumpled on the top, the spring clip nowhere to be found. I was pretty sure there was nothing but stale pieces left.  A bag of Double-Stuffed Oreos was nearly empty, with two lone cookies sitting among the crumbs in the tray.  There was at least four boxes of Wheat Thins, all of them open.  I had no clue which box was the most recent purchase.

"Mom!" my daughter hollered.

And then she said the sweetest words, music to my harried, mothering soul:  "I think I need to clean and organize this stuff!"

My heart skipped a beat and I tried not to show the surprise that I felt inside.  You see, my daughter is also missing the same Cleaning Gene that exists with her aunts and her Grandma. Not to mention a couple of the cousins. From the time she was a toddler, my daughter used the floor of her bedroom as a catch-all.  Toys, clothes, books, mis-matched socks and papers found a home on the floor. Tucked away somewhere in my house, I have pictures of her bedroom that could be mistaken for a tornado hit.  The problem is, I'm not too organized myself. I have piles sitting on my bedroom floor of stuff that I will "eventually get to."

Hang Up and Drive

I have taken Oprah's "No Phone Zone Pledge" to stay off my cell phone while I'm driving.   For my safety and everyone else's, I hope everyone in Chicagoland takes the pledge too. In case you didn't know it, Illinois has brand new cell phone laws banning texting and checking emails altogether and restricting other cell phone usage while operating an automobile.  In my opinion, Illinois hasn't gone far enough.  It turns out that driving while talking on the cell phone (hands free or not) is just as dangerous as driving drunk!  We are four times as likely to get into an accident while on our cell phones.  If we are driving while texting, we are all eight times more likely to get into an accident.  In other words, texting while driving is four times worse than driving drunk!

If you think you can talk on your phone (hands free or not) you are wrong, and there is now scientific evidence to prove it.  After I learned the actual science behind the distraction of a cell phone while driving, I could really understand why I had to take Oprah's pledge.  It is one thing to learn about statistics, because I can just tell myself that it won't happen to me.  However, once I discovered that our brain simply is not wired to enable us to drive and talk on a cell phone, I was convinced.   Distracted Driving researcher David Strayer from the University of Utah demonstrated that our eyes (and our brains) will actually miss certain things that can be right in front of us, such as a red light or crossing pedestrians. The funny "car talk" guys from National Public Radio have been serious about eliminating cell phone usage for at least a decade.  In an official press release, they state, "[W]e're opposed to the use of cell phones in cars for anything other than emergencies. We said it's immoral, unethical, inconsiderate and downright stupid."

SV MOMS GROUP BLOGS FOR HAITI

Collectively, we have a powerful voice.  Our messages and stories of aid, sadness, fear, shock and even hope made its way through the internet and social media tools upon learning about the devastation in Haiti.  We want to help and let the Haitians know that they are not alone.  In both small and large ways, the blogging community is here, getting the word out and using our united voices and sites to share love, concern and messages of hope.

CLICK HERE TO SEE ARTICLES WRITTEN BY SV MOMS GROUP CONTRIBUTORS ABOUT HAITI ........

The Right to Speak His Mind

Admittedly, I may not be a very unbiased commenter on this topic.  I am a huge Florida Gators fan and an even bigger Tim Tebow fan.  So I guess you should the rest of this post with a small grain of salt.  But just a small one.

It has been reported that the conservative Christian group Focus on the Family has paid over 2 million dollars for a 30second ad to run during the Super Bowl on February 7th on CBS.  The ad is to feature Tim Tebow and his mom Pam talking about the value of choosing life and the importance of celebrating family.  Tim and his mom have a very cool story about when she was pregnant with him in 1987 and was encouraged to abort due to some health concerns.  She chose to carry her baby to term and now her "baby" is one of the most well-known and loved college football players of all time and a remarkable man over-all (see, grain of salt).  I am personally excited to see the ad just because I can't get enough of my Timmy.  But more than that, I think it is admirable that Tebow would stand up for his personal beliefs, controversial or not, on such a national stage.

Coco Chanel & Igor Stravinsky by Chris Greenhalgh: A Silicon Valley Moms Group Book Club

Love affairs in Paris, culture, style, genius. Typical mom stuff, right? Join us as Silicon Valley Moms Group bloggers talk about the book Coco Chanel & Igor Stravinsky by Chris Greenhalgh.

• Sophia from Moody Mommy ponders Me? Naked?
• Christina from Hooey Critic explains that in German it would be called 'Ehebruch'
• Sam from Temporarily Me Dot Com thinks about Love. Elsewhere 
• Lisa from Hannemaniacs' revels in her luxurious life
• Melanie from Tales from the Crib discusses faithfulness
• Jessica from It's My Life has a little Coco Chanel flashback
• Heidi from Coast 2 Coast Mom wonders how Coco Chanel would have done a mom uniform
• Leticia from Tech Savvy Mama finds that member-only sale sites feature Coco Chanel and designer duds for less
• Kim from I'm Not the Nanny found herself examining family vs career aka SAHM vs working moms
• Erica from wellthoughtoutspot wonders what Coco would say about her unfashionable side
• Vanessa from Chefdruck Musings Puts Down the Paintbrush to Find the Right Tool for her Creativity
• Stacy from Laptop TV Mom discusses Coco Chanel and Tiger Woods
• Michelle from Wife and Mommy reveals her special talent
• Ana from Finding Bonggamom has a love affair with pearls
• Linsey from Me Too You talks about independence and balance

Silicon Valley Moms Blog is hosting the book club discussion this month. Please leave a comment below and join in the discussion.

Past Silicon Valley Moms Group Book Clubs have included:

• See Mom Run by Beth Feldman
  
• Close Encounters of the Third-Grade Kind by Phillip Done
• This is Where I Leave You by Jonathan Topper
• Do One Nice Thing by Debbie Tenzer
• Birth Day by Mark Sloan, M.D.
• What Happened to the Girl I Married? by Michael Miller
• Testimony by Anita Shreve
  
• Comfort Food by Kate Jacobs
  
• Much to Your Chagrin by Suzanne Guilette
  
• It Started with Pop-Tarts by Lori Hanson
  
• Who By Fire by Diana Spechler
• The White Trash Moms Handbook by Michelle Lamar
• Writing Motherhood by Lisa Garrigues
• The Vaccine Book by Dr. Robert W. Sears
• The Other Mother by Gwendolen Gross

Click here to read all about the Silicon Valley Moms Group Book Club.

This is not a paid for post. The publisher of this book did provide free copies to Silicon Valley Moms Group bloggers to use for this book club.

The Morning Dance Party

I can't remember when I started it, but most mornings we start our day with a little dance party. Jump starts the day. Gets the kids movin' and groovin'... mom too! So what if my kids and I can mimic the Beyonce Single Ladies dance routine? It's all good, right? 

We started with a little Single Ladies, then some Hey Ya, move to some Sexy Back and then wrap up some of the best cardio after just waking up with Boom Boom Pow. Then the repertoire grew. iTunes was making a killing on us and we were getting in great shape and having fun. 

Then we made the jump to Just Dance, the new game that has actually reunited me with Wii. Now we're BFFs! I am notorious for not knowing the words to songs and this game actually shows you the words while you are dancing. So enlightening! 

Apparently my children do not have the same lyric affliction as their mother because last week we were in the grocery shopping line when my youngest was staring off into the distance. It was hot, winter coats still zipped even though we had been in the store for thirty or more minutes. I figured he was bored. Then his shoulder dipped a little, he popped his hip and started bouncing a little. Still staring off he started singing "I'll let you whip me if I misbehave... I'm bringing sexy back...". Uh oh. Customers giggles and smiles made me realize that the conveyor belt was empty and the cashier was quietly signaling us to move up, but she didn't want to stop him. Are those the words? Really??!!??