The best parenting advice I've heard

As a mom, parenting advice starts as soon as you announce you are expecting or when your baby belly starts to show.

At first, it's about pregnancy; sleep on the left-hand side to help blood flow, never take steaming baths, drink lots of water, no luncheon meat.  Later the advice zeros in on delivery; don't take an epidural, take an epidural, make sure your toes are painted before you go into labor (I really agree with this one, by the way).

Then your little one is finally here and advice runs rapid in your house for weeks; never sleep the baby on her tummy, breast is best, use cloth diapers, how to find the best price for Similac. 

And the advice soaks in because we don't have a clue how to take care of this baby entrusted to us.

Later something changes.  Around age two a lot of parenting advice stops.  No one wants to tell you how to raise your kid, especially in a world with so many options with child rearing; like attachment parenting or On Becoming Baby Wise, or parenting styles that indicate how moms and dads tend to parent naturally.  In this day, with our independent culture, unless something is blaringly wrong with the way a person parent's (read, the police need to be called) families are on their own.

Before I had children I was definitely opinionated about kids I knew, "if that was my kid he would never walk around with a dirty face" or "my kid would never talk back like that to me."  Soon after my first baby I realized that a lot of times parenting is like treading water and we all are doing what we can to stay afloat.  That generally looks different in each family.  So I understand and unless asked, I don't usually offer parenting advice.

But I have a couple things to pass along that I believe is universal.  It will work if you sleep with your toddler in the same bed or if you put her in a crib as soon as you got home from the hospital.  It will work if you home school or if you send your kid to public school.

A good friend of ours told my husband and me two things when our girls were very little.  He has four grown children, all of whom love their parents and are living productive, independent lives but still enjoy going back home to spend time with their parents.  I tend to listen to people whom have not only survived parenting their kids, but where all parties involved actually thrived.

His advice?  Two things: 1) tell your children you love them at least once a day and 2) whatever form of discipline or correction you choose to use with your kids BE CONSISTENT.

Telling our children we love them is easy and doable.  Are we all doing it?

The second piece of advice makes complete sense and is one of the hardest things about parenting in my opinion.  Being consistent is hard work.  When the cell is buzzing and the television is blaring and a toddler has melted on the floor in tears it takes every ounce of mothering wherewithal to handle the situation in the proper way instead of chucking that kid in her room and turning up your favorite daytime talk show louder.  Unless that is your parenting style...then go with it I guess?...for the sake of consistency? 

But I think it's true.  When our kids know that we are going to follow through, their behavior is different and most of the time all parties are more comfortable within the perimeters.

So there you have it.  And please don't stop by my house next week expecting my kids lined up at the kitchen table studying a foreign language, the house spotless, a home cooked meal bubbling in the oven. 

It's not consistent with my parenting.

This post is original to Chicago Moms Blog.  Read about Gillian's inconsistent blunders in parenting at Pocket Lint.